sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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