jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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