If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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