Quick, to the slutcave!
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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