I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
