VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
