I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Randomize
