I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
