I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
