Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
