I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
