It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
my sisters under your porch take her home
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
