I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
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