Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
smell my finger.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
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