She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
