There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
