after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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