That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
