Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize
