i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
