My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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