i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
