I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
