My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
