I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
