Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
