What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
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