I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
