just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
