My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
