you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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