Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
