I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Randomize
