O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Help me help you realize you are a moron
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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