I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize