that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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