This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
