hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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