I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
