discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
