Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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