Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
