I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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