i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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