Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
