she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Less talking, more tequila
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize