Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize