Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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