but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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