what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize