it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
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