At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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