Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize