Having a random hookup so left but love u
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
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