There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
