i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
