this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize