how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Where are you guys?
Drunk
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