I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize