What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize