My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Randomize
