I was born with a shot glass in my hand
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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