who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
